The key to standing in your power is boundaries. When it comes to boundaries, understanding the following three principles is important.
1. You are allowed to have boundaries
2. You set your boundaries. They might be different to other people’s boundaries
3. No one is going to hold your boundary for you. That is your responsibility.
It is your job to deal with it when people cross your boundaries.
Here’s a couple of examples to illustrate:
A supervisee worries that they have crossed my boundary by emailing me. However, I am not bothered because it is not crossing my boundary. I communicate that the supervisee need not worry so much as it is my job to manage my boundaries and I will discuss it with them in a clear and kind way if they do cross it.
A client is emailing me and texting me numerous times between weekly sessions. It is crossing my boundary. I address it at the beginning of the next session and clearly state what my boundary is around between session communication.
Addressing your boundary doesn’t always make you popular in that moment. Sometimes when I hold my boundary with other therapists I receive some backlash around not being supportive enough of my fellow therapists or women. Yes, that’s a manipulation tactic but it’s ok because it’s their stuff and it’s just my job to hold my boundary in the face of the tactic.
But I’ve learned to be ok with the boundary holding backlash. It is better than knowingly allowing people to take from me what I am not comfortable being taken.
So holding boundaries and standing in your power is not easy. But long term it makes your life more liveable, more doable, less resentment filled, and less stressful.
And you feel stronger. That’s the real benefit of standing in your power.
To stand in your power and hold boundaries you need to have the tools to effectively communicate your boundaries. That’s where my self-study program comes in. It helps you identify the blocks you are experiencing as well as help you master communicating these boundaries effectively.
To make it super affordable for all therapists, I am now offering Stand in Your Power: Confident Conversations as a self-study program. There’s even a payment plan option, to make it accessible to all.
If you’re tired of feeling like you can’t say what you want to say, do what you want to do and you feel trapped in a cycle of disempowered interactions with clients and other professionals, this self-study course is for you.
This program teaches you in easy steps how to overcome the blocks that are disempowering you and leaving you feeling like you can’t. You will learn the exact steps of how to have confident conversations on those tough topics. The course comes with video examples and downloadable scripts.